15.12.12

[NANA]

it was my sis birthday(and ichi's birthday as well!) nothing important happened. at night, i decided to read nana. it was.. just like i've always predicted, cool. it really portraits... emotion. real emotion. not many manga has it. it has gorgeous art, no need to say. and the story is complicated. well, the truth is i don't like complicated story. it'll always stroke my brain and invade my mind. and i'll always be hooked to it. and nana seems like it will has a sad and tragic ending, and i hate that. why read story that so painful, and it makes you feel painful too? i see no point in that. anyway, i read nana all night, till morning. kinda pathetic i think? wasting my youth just like that. well, i have no regret reading nana, but, it affect my thinking(that time)
i'm starting to get afraid, of my habit. this is not the first time that i didn't sleep till morning. and that's the scary thing. i get used to it. it's a bad thing. my roomate even say i'll die young if i keep on living like that. i remember the ffirst time i didn't sleep, i cried, because i feel so stupid for wasting my time and angry to myself because i can't manage time. but now, i find that as a solution to my problem. even tough, it's not. it's... retaliation to my stupidity, i think. but, i tend to see it as a clever solution. disgusting, huh? well, somehow, it is clever. i can be awake in the morning, see the sunrise, and shalat subuh at the mosque without being late, take a shower(actually cleaning myself) in the morning, i was able to do those of thing, and stil get my sleep afterward, even tough my sleeptime's still shortened. but it's wrong right? i'm becoming nocturnal. i'll die young. i don't want to die young. i have to stop this habit. i'm keep telling myself that today will be the last. but, will it? am i able to do it? huft. see? now i have this tragical thinking, nana really have affected me
am i even making any sense? is my first history carving really that lame? oh well no one's gonna read this anyway. and if you are reading this, i know you can't help but thinking that i'm lame. but thanks for reading anyway, i see it as an appreciation. do you understand it?

(beautiful drawings aren't they?
 had hard time choosing them and ended up putting 3 pics-_-)